Hello, I'm a Vasari Admiral. Let me introduce you to the most powerful weapon in our arsenal: the Kostura Cannon. This interstellar artillery cannon causes all enemies unlucky enough to be within its payload detonation range to take excessive damage and have all their weapons and engines shut down temporarily. If I can aim four or five at the same location, I can vapourize an entire fleet in an instant. Like all Vasari tech, this is a smart weapon and friendly craft will be quite unaffected, allowing me to throw down a couple of these into the middle of a fleet battle with no negative reprocussions. If you stay and fight, you die. If you retreat... well, if you can successfully retreat, let's just say I'm not doing my job right as a Vasari fleet commander.
Now, every so often we run into a race like the Advent with powerful shield tech. Usually we get this overconfident chatter about "we are impervious to your primitive weapons" yadda yadda yadda. Well, it just so happens that every warship that matters in the Vasari fleet is equipped with phase missiles, which can teleport past your precious little shields and rip apart that fragile hull you were compensating for. If you have a particularly nasty starbase or capital ship, I actually have a specialty weapon I can employ to manually disassemble it from the inside out.
But really, this is all moot, because I intend to use these Stikulus Subverter class cruisers to drain the power from your entire fleet, leaving your engines and weapons offline. I will then surround your fleet with explosive payloads, order a martini, and watch the fireworks. What's that? You intend to fight with guerilla tactics. That happens to be my specialty; I can deploy phase stabilizers enabling my fleet to redeploy virtually instantly, anywhere, at any time. Oh, I almost forgot, my Kostura also opens a temporary stabilizer gateway enabling me to invade any planet of my choosing with full force even if I have no conventional approaches.
Kind of a shame I'm just a shadow of my former self, and this is only a fraction of my historical strength. You see, we're not really a powerful galactic empire... not anymore anyways. We're actually a group of rag-tag survivors running from our lives from a race so powerful and advanced that we're completely unable to defend ourselves from them. For the past ten thousand years we've been running the hell away and tossing down jump inhibitors behind us. Given that we've beaten the crap out of you and taken everything of value, we'll be leaving now... good luck with those guys.
Yeah, my vote goes to whatever is chasing the Vasari...
