I have been looking through the conversation files, and I found a couple of funny lines, such as these:

Player:
Golly gee, the war really ain't goin' too well for either of us. Lots of explosions and stuff. Reminds me of the time I tried cooking a firecracker in the nano-wave oven. Hooooo-wee. Anywhoo, let's come to terms.

Please stop hurting us! If you keep doing the stuff you're doing you'll conquer all our territory. Er, yea, I see that probably would be a good thing for you. But, think of the children! Won't SOMEONE please think of the children?!

My strategists have informed me that our war against your empire is going great... for us, at least. For you, well, it just seems to be hopeless. But, with great power comes the responsibility to be just and merciful. Since we're SO frightfully powerful, we should probably be EXTRA merciful. Let's figure how your people can escape this grim war.


AI:
Gah! I never get used to seeing your disgusting green mug up on my vid screen, [YourLeaderName]

Ah, a talking robot! I hope you have more to say to me than *bleep* and *bloop*.

Make it quick [YourLeaderName] before I get tempted to press the big red button.

You're not dead yet? Oh hold on, sorry, getting ahead of myself.

If we created you again it would be with less vocal parts.

We promise that we will treat your people humanely after we liberate them from you. But in the meantime, what do you want?

Good slarf, what do you want? There's a game on that I really wanted to watch…

Yes? If you have trouble speaking, try sounding out the words from your primitive terminal.

So you communicate by moving a piece of meat in your mouth? That creates sounds? Interesting.

How may we aid our cheese-eating, surrender-monkey allies today?

Wow, it's [YourLeaderName]! Can I get your autograph?! Er... I guess not... sorry, I'm kinda new to this 'alien communication' thing. Is there anything the [TheirEmpireName] can do for you, today, sir, anything at all?

You are looking even better than usual. I mean, you look great. Not that I'm saying that you ever look bad. Look, just don't hurt me.

I'm just glad the Comm Terminal only transfers video and sound. The moment this thing starts sending smells I'm just going to quit.

We are amazed at how ugly some of your cities are, I mean really, what's the deal with Las Vegas?

You flesh creatures make no sense to us. The ultimate form of life is mechanical. We live forever while your flesh begins to rot from the moment you hatch or whatever it is you do.

Ah, the Drejin or however you spell your civilization. We consider ourselves pretty diplomatic but we've seen how you are. So you'll have to excuse me if I have a lack of enthusiasm for talking to you.

The other day I saw someone driving a really old truck. Don't see many wheeled vehicles on Earth anymore. Anyway, the driver swerved out of his way to run over a turtle. I thought to myself, I bet that's [YourLeaderName].

I hear that your kind doesn't eat the skin of its criminals as punishment. Pity.

I'm having a case of the Monday's. I've explained to my underlings that the beatings will continue until their joy returns.