i have no idea how you get it done

my startup is pretty simular than yours, and depending on race war will come.
usually it goes like this, do the thing you do to, after i am done colonizing 9i'm usually around equally big than the biggest around or nearing to it and i play on crippling).
now i start to research economics, diplomacy as much as i can, but as soon as some clan becomes wary or worse i start to reseach ships, starting with hull.
usually i fight with medium or large hulls from the start.
having a nice bit of logistics is good to btw.
when a clan declares war on me i have no trouble stopping them, i can take on 3 clans at once, 100% militairy usually makes me by far the strongest in the game even if i am at war.
(1 time it wasn't, drengin was to powerfull, i really had to take over his productionplanets, i did win though).
if i lose a game i lose at the start, but that rarely happens, not on crippling.
if you are declared war on, just go 100% militairy till you are the strongest, if you are the strongest go 50% militairy and 50% tech and research for better ship parts, step 3 is totally anihilate your opponont.
mystic