I'm married.  To a real life girl and everything.  Spent the week in Las Vegas, wife wanted a 12-12-12 wedding, and apparently so did the rest of the world.  I got my geek on at the Excalibur watching the knights joust and sword fight shit, went and saw a comedian that got drunk and turned his 1 hour show into a 4 hour one.  It was the National Rodeo finals that week, and Vegas was filled with cowboys.  Fucking leave Kansas just to be surrounded by cowboys, what a bitch!  They were actually all very nice, but god damn were there tons of them everywhere. My mom got drunk after the wedding and embarrassed me, every time I got up to get a drink or use the restroom, she would tell my wife and friends about how perfect of a little boy I was growing up and how I use to hide behind the couch and shit my pants when I was a toddler.  Had a lot of fun, and now I'm a married man, so no more fantasizing about me.  Also, if there are any lonely dorks out there, if I can find someone, anyone can.