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A quick joke

A quick joke

What happens when you put French bread next to German bread?

The French bread surrenders!   
66,777 views 87 replies
Reply #76 Top
Here's some one-liners for you:

I'm in the hospital, recovering from a car accident...which is funny because I don't own a car.

I heard that ciggarettes can cause colon cancer. Umm...i don't smoke, but I did, I'd kinda be careful to put them in my mouth!
Reply #77 Top
Q: how many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: none, they just sit in the dark and cry.


lol
Reply #78 Top
Here is a quick one, but beware its slightly.. 'wrong' so the young and morally up tight should look away now.

Here we go...
Whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari?

I don't have a ferrari in my garrage.

Pleae note I don't have a garage and I was told this by my younger brother.

(ferrari?)
Reply #79 Top
dead baby jokes!?!! huzzah!!!

what's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?
you can't move the bowling balls with a pitchfork.


why do you put a baby in a blender feet-first?
to watch the expression on its face change.


what's red and silver and runs into walls?
a baby with a fork in its eye.


what's blue and sits in the corner?
a dead baby in a bag.


what's green and sits in the corner?
same baby three months later.
Reply #80 Top
What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender?

A hard-on

. . . I'm going to hell for this, aren't I?
Reply #81 Top
Lets try and steer the thread in a bit less disturbing direction, mmkay?
Reply #82 Top
What do you call a black man flying a plane?

. . . a PILOT, you RACIST!!! (Sings "We Shall Overcome.")
Reply #83 Top
What do you call a black man flying a plane?

. . . a PILOT, you RACIST!!! (Sings "We Shall Overcome.")


THAT will knock people for a loop!
Reply #84 Top
There are three penguins in a bathtub. This is not a sexual joke.

The first penguin says to the second one, "Hey, man, pass the soap."

The second penguin says to the third one, "Hey, man, pass the soap."

The third penguin spins a pinwheel and says, "No soap, RADIO!"

XD


Huh?
Reply #85 Top
How to catch a bear...

You walk out into the woods where you know that there will be hungry bears about.

Dig a large hole and fill it with ashes.

Once you have the hole full of ashes, surround it with peas.

When a bear comes around to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.

 
Reply #86 Top

There are three penguins in a bathtub. This is not a sexual joke.

The first penguin says to the second one, "Hey, man, pass the soap."

The second penguin says to the third one, "Hey, man, pass the soap."

The third penguin spins a pinwheel and says, "No soap, RADIO!"

XD


Huh?


Wikipedia "No Soap Radio."
Reply #87 Top
le'sigh, i figured the baby jokes wouldn't fly. props on the pilot joke, themocaw, i've heard that one before and it's a great one.

unfortunately most of my jokes are offensive to some group or just so totally vulgar that i shouldn't put them in here.

Wikipedia "No Soap Radio."


one of my sociology profs pulled off an elaborate no soap radio joke in a lecture. he had the TAs tell half of their discussion sections (half the students) about the set up, so all the TAs and half of the 200ish person lecture lagued at "no soap, radio!"

unfortunately it didn't work quite as well as he'd have liked. out of the other half of the class, only a fraction of them were actually paying attention.