How do I bug thee? ;)

Let me count the ways:

Note, this post is for entertainment only:

Holy crap this is the buggiest game ever!!!!11 I am so sick of playing a gmae that crashes ever ten minutes! Just so I sound smart here is my bulleted list of whats wrong with this game:

--- From my clacualtion I should have 147852369987.4 units of prduction, the game says I only have 147852369987!! Where did the .4 go?!
--- I beat the AI every time when its set on easy, and the AI beats me whenever its set on masochistic!! Quite obviously the AI is cheating (I have uber 133t skillz yo)
--- I emailed Stardock support twenty times in the last hour and no has shown up at my house yet to properly install the game and/or up date my drivers for me!
--- This isnt Masters of Orion 4! I thought they had made a mistake when labeling the box, but this quite obviously is a totally diffrent game! Devs, why you do that!!!11?
--- Brad's mom is a wookie. How do I know? Beacuse I'm not burdened by facts and reality like the rest of you losers!
--- Whats a debugg.er file? And no, I wont post it, everyone here needs to fix my problem for me with as little actual work done be me as possible!
--- The beta is way less stable than the last real update, Stardock doesnt really care about their product anymore!!!11

Thankyou for your time

*Note: This is not how I feel, but I had fun writing it! (flame protection)
** Note: Brad's mom is NOT a wookie, she is actually very nice as evident in the way she raised her son... Brad, your whole family is awesome!
20,083 views 15 replies
Reply #1 Top
***Bump*** Just want people to see this
Reply #2 Top
I would add to your list but all the good sarcastic complaints have been used up in "serious" complaint threads
Reply #4 Top
interesting nick...
Reply #5 Top
The sad thing is, it's true! It's all true! Whoever gave noobs and trolls access to computers needs to be locked away.
Reply #6 Top
Yeah some of our best one-liners are reserved for real trolls

I guess you covered all the bases, most popular troll rants.. good job on the parody/sarcasm
Reply #7 Top
This is utter bs
Really, why bash people just looking for help with this buggy game.
Of course some of their concerns might be minor but are concerns nonetheless.
Little concern over their feeling is being displayed
Lighten up and try and help these people!

Being nice to them is not that hard.
Otherwise your not promoting a friendly helpfull forum.
Your the one adding to their frustration which spawns more complaints.

(acronym)
Reply #8 Top
Sorry this has gotten you bent out of shape Zippy. This post was writen as a bit of parody... Parody that I might add, everyone seems to enjoy so far.
In all honesty I do try to help those with problems who really are looking for help, not just senseless whining. But sense humor is arguably the most evolved emotion I see no reason to recant/retract any of the extremely funny things I have said.

Stop me if you've heard this one... a horse walks into a bar...
Reply #9 Top
Yeah, Zippy, the game isn't that buggy. Besides, if you read the post, you may notice he isn't being sarcastic about the people asking for help, he's being sarcastic about the outstandingly lazy/insulting/annoying/trolling people.
Reply #10 Top
This is utter bs
Really, why bash people just looking for help with this buggy game.
Of course some of their concerns might be minor but are concerns nonetheless.
Little concern over their feeling is being displayed
Lighten up and try and help these people!

Being nice to them is not that hard.
Otherwise your not promoting a friendly helpfull forum.
Your the one adding to their frustration which spawns more complaints.

(acronym)


Why should people help someone who is insulting you while asking for help? If someone asks nicely then I have no problem lending a helping hand, but the insults will get you nothing but more insults (Or "flames as the people here like to say). I agree with his post. People often go about insulting people while they ask for help on this forum, and he is trying to make fun of that extremely stupid behavior.
Reply #11 Top
Right On OP!

I'd just like to add I put my annoyances with this undescribable game in this thread the other day https://forums.galciv2.com/index.aspx?ForumID=346&AID=112097#862108

Take that SD!

Reply #12 Top
Brad's mom is a wookie. How do I know? Beacuse I'm not burdened by facts and reality like the rest of you losers!


I believe the word you're looking for is Truthiness: The quality of stating concepts or facts one wishes or believes to be true, rather than concepts or facts known to be true. (as popularized by Steven Colbert of Comedy Central)
Reply #13 Top
Yuppers, good post. I don't have a problem giving advice (and certainly don't have a problem asking for it ) but don't just kick and scream like a toddler not getting his way... Teancum's pretty much bang on with how some of the worst posters are... Granted that its a public forum and they're allowed to whine and complain, they just shouldn't expect too much sympathy...
Reply #14 Top
What ever Teancum, you bourgeois jerk!

Why do you have to pick on people who just want answers? It' s becuase of people like you that problems aren't ever fixed. They just read your little post, and figure everyone hates them, so they don't speak up for fear of being shouted down!

I hate you, and I hate the game your avater comes from!
Reply #15 Top
By the way, so that everyone doesn't think I'ma jerk...

Teancum and I are both friends and brothers. I love the game his avater comes from.

No, I'm not really being mean.