Why do I get the sneezles when I walk outside into the sunshine?
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Solar winds blow super-heated plasma into the Earth's atmosphere. While in direct contact with sunshine, these plasma particles remain excited. When you breathe them in, they jump up and down in your nose until you sneeze them out. Of course, some people are more affected than others, it sounds like you might be allergic. You should advise your doctor that you're allergic to super-heated solar plasma, and stay away from any NASA missions to the sun.
Why does my shoulder hurt every time it looks like it's going to rain?
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Sunlight has also been sientiphikally proven to provoke the release of indurfins in the brain. The people who are allergic to solar plasma don't realize it since they're too busy sneezing, but these indurfins are like drugs. It's because of these sunshine drugs that surfies talk the way they do. Amongst other effects, these drugs also act as mild pain-killers, even on an overcast day. That's why doctors recommend people stay out of sunlight - it costs them business. The only time the drugs cut out is when it's a really cloudy day - like when it's about to rain.
If I melt a large block of ice in a body of water will the water level rise or does the displacement created by the ice offset the melting? Isn't there a difference in specific grafity between the two . . . (i.e. archamedies principle and the difference in density per unit volume of water as compared to ice) . . . if you know what I mean?
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The water's reaction depends on how you give it the ice. It's important at all times to respect the water, cause it could drown you in a second, just like THAT. You have to be gentle - hold the ice for a while, rock it in your arms, to show the water that it's safe. Dip it in the water occasionally. Then, slowly lower it into the water.
Whatever you do, don't simply drop the ice in, especially from a great height. It's disrespectful, and very rude. This will make waves, showing the water's anger. The water's got the power to rise up and drown us all - it's done it before, and it can do it again. Normally, the water level will rise only a tiny amount - but if you keep dropping blocks of ice in, one of these days, the water will just say "Right, that's it.", and kill us all! Crikey! Don't provoke it.
Why are Marsians green?
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There are no predators on Mars, so Martians are free to wander around, grab the first Martian they see and go at it like rabbits. Originally, Martians came in all different colours. But the less noticeable ones died out - the reds were the first to go, since they blended in with the background. Why go looking for a red one when there's a cute little blue thing right there just waiting for you? Since green is opposite to red, the green Martians were most noticeable, and therefore got the most action.
Evolution is still proceeding at a rapid rate, of course. There's a new batch of fluoro green Martians, they're dead sexy.
Is Elvis still with us?
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Elvis never left the building. He's still there, hiding under the floorboards, just waiting for the damn tourists to leave. He tried to pretend the house was haunted, and put on a scary ghost voice, but that just brought more tourists.
Fortunately, he's befriended Joe, a trainee at the local McDonalds, and Joe brings all the burgers he can pocket from work. The bonus for Elvis is that even if the tourists find him, they won't be able to drag him out, cause he's as big as a house now. You think he put on weight before? You ain't seen nothing yet.
Ask more questions if you dare