A forced crease fire is lame

I'm very tired of surviving an onslaught, then building my forces up to counter attack only to be told some third party negotiated a cease fire. I now can't touch that fraction, and they are going to rebuild and then hit me once I'm committed to a war with another faction. Oh then the irony is it the game is acting like I lost and I have to give resources to a weaker opponent. Is your AI that weak that you give it a cheat code to recover. This is at least the fifth time this has happened to me. You would think that the game would realize that since you rejected 3 crease fires from that fraction.  Its bad enough that I have to play at the "Incredible" level to get any sort of challenge out of the game, but to openly cheat by not only allowing the enemy fraction time to recover after declaring war on you for no reason, and then being decimated, but stripping me of resources to do so... its lame.  

In summary I have no control when a faction declares war on me (you can try to minimize friction but a lot of the time it seems arbitrary* then I have no control when that factions wants to stop fighting   

*  If you're strong they attack, if you're weak they attack, if you share a border they attack, if you destroy a starbase to avoid a border conflict they attack...you get the point),