Improve your Galciv experience with computerlove.
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Stardock Forums
G'day mates. Can I say that I've become increasingly concerned with the frustrations which some of you have shown. I have thought of a possible cause, and a possible solution. Humour me on this one, and all will be revealed.
Answer the following quiz with a 'Yes' (1 point) or a 'No' (0 points) for each question.
1. Do you talk to your computer?
2. Do you refer to your PC as 'she'?
3. Does your PC have a cute nickname (eg 'CariElf' or 'Lambchops') or a killer nickname (eg 'Darth Vader' or 'Wolverine')?
4. Do you buy your PC presents such as extra RAM and updates?
5. Have you ever sworn at your PC and then made up with her later?
6. Have you ever cheated on your human partner by sneaking time with your PC behind their back? (Substitute for 'partner' whatever your life situation is).
7. Have you bought your PC a flatscreen, or would, if you could afford it?
8. Do you never turn your PC off (ie you suspect that turning her off is like murder)?
9. Have you suffered separation trauma?
10. Do you think that your PC is more stylish than an IMac?
11. Do you NOT own a Mac?
12. Do you encourage self expression in your PC by tarting her up with cool-looking wallpaper?
13. Do you find the hum of your PC strangely re-assuring?
14. Have you ever been sexually aroused whilst sitting with your PC?
15. Do you get annoyed and jealous when your PC gets more mail/messages than you do?
16. Do you spend more time with your PC than you do with your human partner (or any other person)?
I reckon an appropriate score may be:
13-16 Your PC is your mistress who shares your most intimate secrets. In return, your PC loves you without reservation.
9-12 You once seriously dated your PC but now you just want to be friends. However, your PC wants more from the relationship.
5-8 You have little emotional attachment to your PC. Your PC fantasizes about a better life with someone-else.
1-4 Your treat your PC like a guttersnipe. Your PC loathes you and wants out really badly.
Now with your score above in mind, what game experience do you have with Galciv? My current theory is this: the Galciv AI slowly evolves on different computers. The better your relationship with your PC, the nicer the game is when you play! This is why some gamers (with a slightly incredulous tone) complain about alien behaviour in Galciv. And conversely, why some gamers light up a cigarette after each and every game, in which they were of-course easily victorious.
Can we check out my theory in a coldly scientific way? This should happen if I am correct:
Your PC loves you without reservation: The Drengin try to smooch with you. You build every wonder. All the aliens have a love-in with you and then vote to give you the Galaxy Olympiad.
Your PC wants more from the relationship: You get the Galaxy Olympiad but then the swimmers run amok and trash your Capitol. You make allies but then end up squabbling with them. The aliens keep demanding gifts.
Your PC fantasises about a better life with someone-else: The Altarians offer you porn videos (the ones you like so much!). The aliens keep demanding gifts which you can't possibly afford.
Your PC loathes you and wants out: The I League always wins. You always lose. Only the Alexians want to ally with you, and then they betray you. The aliens get the best techs sooner than you can. And then won't trade them to you. Your ships always lose one-on-one. Your planets culturally leave your Empire. When you sometimes do win you get 36 points. Which your PC won't let you submit to the Metaverse.
Am I on to something here? Yet, there may be a solution. Now I aint a marriage counsellor or anything, but here are a few tips for a more rewarding and less frustrating Galciv experience. Call your PC 'her'; even give her a cutesy nickname. Remember her birthday. Buy her presents every now and them. Tell her she is as cool as a Mac. Put flowers next to her. Give your partner the flick. And then start a new game of Galciv. Hope my advice is in some small way, helpful.
Answer the following quiz with a 'Yes' (1 point) or a 'No' (0 points) for each question.
1. Do you talk to your computer?
2. Do you refer to your PC as 'she'?
3. Does your PC have a cute nickname (eg 'CariElf' or 'Lambchops') or a killer nickname (eg 'Darth Vader' or 'Wolverine')?
4. Do you buy your PC presents such as extra RAM and updates?
5. Have you ever sworn at your PC and then made up with her later?
6. Have you ever cheated on your human partner by sneaking time with your PC behind their back? (Substitute for 'partner' whatever your life situation is).
7. Have you bought your PC a flatscreen, or would, if you could afford it?
8. Do you never turn your PC off (ie you suspect that turning her off is like murder)?
9. Have you suffered separation trauma?
10. Do you think that your PC is more stylish than an IMac?
11. Do you NOT own a Mac?
12. Do you encourage self expression in your PC by tarting her up with cool-looking wallpaper?
13. Do you find the hum of your PC strangely re-assuring?
14. Have you ever been sexually aroused whilst sitting with your PC?
15. Do you get annoyed and jealous when your PC gets more mail/messages than you do?
16. Do you spend more time with your PC than you do with your human partner (or any other person)?
I reckon an appropriate score may be:
13-16 Your PC is your mistress who shares your most intimate secrets. In return, your PC loves you without reservation.
9-12 You once seriously dated your PC but now you just want to be friends. However, your PC wants more from the relationship.
5-8 You have little emotional attachment to your PC. Your PC fantasizes about a better life with someone-else.
1-4 Your treat your PC like a guttersnipe. Your PC loathes you and wants out really badly.
Now with your score above in mind, what game experience do you have with Galciv? My current theory is this: the Galciv AI slowly evolves on different computers. The better your relationship with your PC, the nicer the game is when you play! This is why some gamers (with a slightly incredulous tone) complain about alien behaviour in Galciv. And conversely, why some gamers light up a cigarette after each and every game, in which they were of-course easily victorious.
Can we check out my theory in a coldly scientific way? This should happen if I am correct:
Your PC loves you without reservation: The Drengin try to smooch with you. You build every wonder. All the aliens have a love-in with you and then vote to give you the Galaxy Olympiad.
Your PC wants more from the relationship: You get the Galaxy Olympiad but then the swimmers run amok and trash your Capitol. You make allies but then end up squabbling with them. The aliens keep demanding gifts.
Your PC fantasises about a better life with someone-else: The Altarians offer you porn videos (the ones you like so much!). The aliens keep demanding gifts which you can't possibly afford.
Your PC loathes you and wants out: The I League always wins. You always lose. Only the Alexians want to ally with you, and then they betray you. The aliens get the best techs sooner than you can. And then won't trade them to you. Your ships always lose one-on-one. Your planets culturally leave your Empire. When you sometimes do win you get 36 points. Which your PC won't let you submit to the Metaverse.
Am I on to something here? Yet, there may be a solution. Now I aint a marriage counsellor or anything, but here are a few tips for a more rewarding and less frustrating Galciv experience. Call your PC 'her'; even give her a cutesy nickname. Remember her birthday. Buy her presents every now and them. Tell her she is as cool as a Mac. Put flowers next to her. Give your partner the flick. And then start a new game of Galciv. Hope my advice is in some small way, helpful.
