Banned for package porn.

banned for not appreciating what I have to work with

Sorry, the only video clip of that song I could find.

Banned for stupidity.

banned for lameness

banned for stupidity is not thinking to get the chick in a skimpy outfit.

banned for lameness is not thinking to get the chick in your place in a skimpy outfit.

Banned because porn is horribly selfish.

squandering your sexual thoughts for yourself and changing your perspective of everyone else...

ShameShameShameShameShameShameShameShameShameShameShameShameShameShameShameShameShameShameShameShameShameShameShameShameShameShameShame

Banned because that first one made no sense, and that second one made little sense, either.

banned for porn usage only fulfills your own sexual desires

hence porn = selfishness

Banned because there's nothing wrong with taking care of yourself sexually. For men, it helps prostate health and for everyone it helps you learn what works for you so you can share that with lovers. 

Banned because porn is also not entirely selfish- it is often not free, and when it is there's usually an advertising company somewhere nearby.

banned for prudishness

Banned for confusing me by switching from porn-bashing to prude-bashing.

p.s. Do the UPS guys ever do a calender like firefighters do? Some of the MIBs I've seen make it difficult to keep one's gaze politely averted. 

banned for not being able to switch things around

They did once. A long time ago.

Banned for continuing.

banned for fat rolls

Banned for croissants.

banned on a skinned monkey

Banned because I want to.

Banned because I didn't want you to.

Banned because ajfeaiphfegapoueh.

banned to the billionth power

Banned over 9000.

banned into speechlessness

Banned onto a new page.

banned for flipping