The Only Game I Have Ever Played
Tomb Raider
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
The only game I have ever played on computer
Tomb Raider
I have never been one to play games on computers other than the solitaire that comes with the pc. So…………….
A friend was jabbering on about how she was battling two ferocious tigers and was battling to extricate herself from her corner. She was so absorbed in the telling in such detail it was plain to see she was excited about the game. Needless to say she convinced me to go and get one to try, I did and this was about five years ago now.
I was taken into strange and exciting places, jungles, ruins, caves, all manner of exciting places, filled with danger at every turn. What a joy, what fun. I was entranced and filled every available free moment with Lara’s adventures.
I played Lara up and until the time they said they were killing her off and the game was ending, so that should give you a time line less than five years or more?
Anyways, here I am watching telly one night and I see an advert for Tomb Raider. WTF, OMG, quick go and get one. No wait, check your account, can you afford to buy one? Oh what they hell go and get one, hurry! So off I waddle double time to the local store. “It’s how much?” I asked in shock, still I opened my wallet and forked out for the ever exciting Lara starring in Tomb Raider. I went home with great excitement and expectations, also imagining the sore hands and fingers I am going to get playing the game.
Jumping ahead now, I start the game. Haaaahhahahahahahahahahhaha! F’…….g useless old cow! I have a brain like a sieve these days and cannot remember the keys to press for certain actions and have to keep consulting the book of instructions (such as they are). So I write the basic moves up on a sheet of paper and tape it to the side of the monitor for easy reference (my my what it is to be getting this bloody old!)
I spent 8 hours on Saturday trying to master the movement controls for Lara. I have her walking or running over and into and off of things repeatedly! She will walk into the wall making a hummmpph noise each time I screw up! Then there is the cliff – nothing quite so chilling as hearing Lara scream as she steps off the cliff and falls into oblivion her cries fading with each distant meter she falls. I spent those 8 hours trying to get out of the first screen and into the game, I have still not managed to climb the rocks to enter the ruins.
I cannot line her up to do things as I cannot find out how to make her step left, back, right etc. So when she jumps to climb something overhanging the doorway, she bangs her head on the item and yells!
So off I go to the training ground “Play the Manor”. Hahahahah! Tis no different, I still cannot master the bleeding moves. I have yet to accomplish a roll! I can make her crouch and move in a crouch, but not crouch and roll or roll/dive out of the way.
So guess what I have done. What? You ask. I have gone onto the net and downloaded all the walk throughs, other wise I am never ever ……………….going to get anywhere in the game. Hell I am still stuck on the first rock of the game.
What a sad sad sad gaming twit I am. I am really going to have to work at this and get back into the hows of it if I want to enjoy it like I did all those years ago. Somehow, I doubt I am going to get it right though, so wish me luck and if you have any movement tips please pass them on. I am sure you have now gathered that not only am I getting old disgracefully but I am also not so clued up on the computer side of things? hahahah
Tomb Raider
I have never been one to play games on computers other than the solitaire that comes with the pc. So…………….
A friend was jabbering on about how she was battling two ferocious tigers and was battling to extricate herself from her corner. She was so absorbed in the telling in such detail it was plain to see she was excited about the game. Needless to say she convinced me to go and get one to try, I did and this was about five years ago now.
I was taken into strange and exciting places, jungles, ruins, caves, all manner of exciting places, filled with danger at every turn. What a joy, what fun. I was entranced and filled every available free moment with Lara’s adventures.
I played Lara up and until the time they said they were killing her off and the game was ending, so that should give you a time line less than five years or more?
Anyways, here I am watching telly one night and I see an advert for Tomb Raider. WTF, OMG, quick go and get one. No wait, check your account, can you afford to buy one? Oh what they hell go and get one, hurry! So off I waddle double time to the local store. “It’s how much?” I asked in shock, still I opened my wallet and forked out for the ever exciting Lara starring in Tomb Raider. I went home with great excitement and expectations, also imagining the sore hands and fingers I am going to get playing the game.
Jumping ahead now, I start the game. Haaaahhahahahahahahahahhaha! F’…….g useless old cow! I have a brain like a sieve these days and cannot remember the keys to press for certain actions and have to keep consulting the book of instructions (such as they are). So I write the basic moves up on a sheet of paper and tape it to the side of the monitor for easy reference (my my what it is to be getting this bloody old!)
I spent 8 hours on Saturday trying to master the movement controls for Lara. I have her walking or running over and into and off of things repeatedly! She will walk into the wall making a hummmpph noise each time I screw up! Then there is the cliff – nothing quite so chilling as hearing Lara scream as she steps off the cliff and falls into oblivion her cries fading with each distant meter she falls. I spent those 8 hours trying to get out of the first screen and into the game, I have still not managed to climb the rocks to enter the ruins.
I cannot line her up to do things as I cannot find out how to make her step left, back, right etc. So when she jumps to climb something overhanging the doorway, she bangs her head on the item and yells!
So off I go to the training ground “Play the Manor”. Hahahahah! Tis no different, I still cannot master the bleeding moves. I have yet to accomplish a roll! I can make her crouch and move in a crouch, but not crouch and roll or roll/dive out of the way.
So guess what I have done. What? You ask. I have gone onto the net and downloaded all the walk throughs, other wise I am never ever ……………….going to get anywhere in the game. Hell I am still stuck on the first rock of the game.
What a sad sad sad gaming twit I am. I am really going to have to work at this and get back into the hows of it if I want to enjoy it like I did all those years ago. Somehow, I doubt I am going to get it right though, so wish me luck and if you have any movement tips please pass them on. I am sure you have now gathered that not only am I getting old disgracefully but I am also not so clued up on the computer side of things? hahahah
GalCiv2 Forums
