I prefer "Between us we cover all knowledge. he knows everything there is to know except that he's a jackass, and I know that".
How about this one (and this is from memory no less).
I'm gross and preverted, obsessed and deranged.
I have existed for years, but very little has changed.
I'm the tool of the government, and industry too,
for I am destined to rule, and regulate you.
I may be vile and pernicious, but you can't look away.
I make you think I'm delicious, with the stuff that I say.
I'm the best you can get, have you guessed me yet?
I'm the slime ozzing out from your TV set.
You will obey me while I lead you, eat the garbage that I feed you,
until the day that we don't need you, don't go for help no one will heed you.
Your mind is totally controlled, it will be stuffed into my mold,
and you will do as you are told, until the rights to you are sold.
That's right folks, don't touch that dial ...
Well I am the slime from your video, ozzing along on your living room floor.
I am the slime from your video, can't stop the slime people lookit me go.