i need help at the beginning

Ok, i want to vs only one opponet in a small unvisre with alot of planets, he somehow gets all of them and i lose from my enemy getting 100% influnece, i cant stop this, i want have alot of planets so i can get a advantage over everone in reasearch. Also another qestion, is it a good idea to reaserch every military technolgy first till you get to planetary invasion. Sometimes i do a variety of reaseching, like i go to diplomacy, then to planetary improvements, then to military. When i do this most of the time, my enemy declares war on me and dominates me. He normal takes out 1/2 of my planets and i got a really big pushback on my reaserch. On the one and only campaign that was successful for me, i had great custom ships that moved 1/2 across the galaxy and had a powerful punch. To bad i cant call those people back up when i play a different game. Anyone have a good tactic for a start out. My tactic is get the biggest lvled planet first and then work my way down, is this a bad idea, im open for suggestions. I appreciate all of the help guys
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