God Hates...

Why is there no Humor subtopic under the Religion category

from JoeUser Forums
This is so amazingly funny I just had to share:

God Hates Shrimp

and don't miss the church sign generator down in the corner.

The Bible - Stranger Than Fiction (tm)
religion
5,455 views 9 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Lol.

Hmm nevermind, they won't allow remote links.
Fun generator.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
I think it's funny and sad, and I'll digress on a serious note, with my apologies since that's probably not what you intended when posting this:

From what I understand, God made rules about health for the healthcare of the Israelites (dunno why he didn't seem to care so much about everyone else...), so in a way, he was the first dietician. That's what those rules were for, and I think that's why the rules on gay or anal sex and what is edible vs. forbidden were based on. Shrimp are bottom feeders, and pigs used to be fed the moldy scraps. Not exactly the food I want to ingest (then again, shrimp are disgusting to look at, whereas lobsters look a bit more tasty (unless they're alive)). So really he had the good of the people in mind; these days the context is all-but-forgotten and used to villify instead of educate. Also, the Israelites were an admittedly bull-headed, stubborn group; they needed strong language and proof of the strongest god to keep them in line and in the faith. That's why the "hate" words.

Having said that, there are some people who need to spend less time in picket lines and more time meditating.

Cheers.

-T.
Star Control: Origins
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
God made rules about health for the healthcare of the Israelites


Shrimp are bottom feeders, and pigs used to be fed the moldy scraps.


So why did Jesus repeal the kosher laws? Were there major advances in food preservation and preparation in the thousand years before that? (And instead of telling people not to eat pig meat, how about telling them to feed the pigs better?)
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!

That made me spit coffee all over my keyboard.....
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
Yeah, well, Bulbous, I'm no expert on God. That's just kind of what I think either he meant or what they understood. Maybe if he'd said "Don't feed your pigs moldy scraps" the Israelites wouldn't have believed him. "Why not? Stupid animals, but good for cleaning up." And I'm not aware that Jesus repealed the kosher laws. And I hate your point by point argumentation.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Maybe if he'd said "Don't feed your pigs moldy scraps" the Israelites wouldn't have believed him.


Yes, that would have been the straw that broke the camel's back. There he is, giving a whole list of commandments and laws, and when he gets to the one about "don't feed the pigs moldy scraps," all the Israelites burst out laughing and God gets all embarrassed.


And I'm not aware that Jesus repealed the kosher laws.


Mark 7.


And I hate your point by point argumentation.


Good.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Mark 7, I see you there. I kind of think, though, that Jesus was trying to say, Hey, it's not about keeping rules; it's about the kind of person you are. The pharisees and sadducees were super legalistic and Jesus was not--he was more about showing what God was like than he was interested in rules and regulations. I think that the Bible illustrates the different ways God led his people: more strictly at first, and the stories show that they were apt to forget him in a moment; and later, through Jesus, God was showing that it's more about getting to know God personally than it's about rules. I suppose the raising children analogy would be good here: you can't always explain to a child why they shouldn't do something; sometimes it's "because I said so" and later, as they grow up more, they'll understand the explanations better.

As you might know, I'm actually an agnostic 'cause there are a lot of things in the Bible I don't get, God included. But I think that the changes in God's actions show his character, or at least that makes sense to me.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
Mark 7, I see you there. I kind of think, though, that Jesus was trying to say, Hey, it's not about keeping rules; it's about the kind of person you are. The pharisees and sadducees were super legalistic and Jesus was not--he was more about showing what God was like than he was interested in rules and regulations.


Yes, that is the moral of the story, but the effect was the repeal of the kosher laws.


But I think that the changes in God's actions show his character, or at least that makes sense to me.


An omniscient, omnipotent, infinitely perfect God shouldn't change his mind. I would hope that such a being would get it right the first time.
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Brief clarification: I said the changes in his actions show his character, not his changing character. But this is where my agnosticism really comes out. I'm not sure that God is perfect. It seems to me that he had a trial-and-error thing going on with the Israelites before he said "To heck with this, I'm going to let everyone in on who I am." Yeah, you'd want to hope he got it right the first time, but maybe he didn't, 'cause if he did I don't think Christ would've had to come down and die (with several ifs thrown in there).

Arguing that he is perfect, omniscient, and omnipotent, though, I guess I'd look at it this way: God says "I need your attention so here are a bunch of rules for you to follow to make me look more powerful than all the other gods." And later, "Okay, now that I have your attention, go populate the Earth." And later, "Now that you've gone too far with the rules, let me show you what I have in mind: it's not about just keeping rules but about knowing me. Forget the rules--they're not important to your salvation." Any way you look at it, those pharisees and sadducees were super legalistic because they'd spent more time analyzing the rules than making the jump between rules for them and the person who gave the rules to them.

I'm not sure why Jesus then repealed the kosher laws. Maybe God got mad at him later for doing it without God's permission.